School Bullying,The Zebra Concept

In the animal food pyramid, lions are sitting nice and pretty on top. Lions are feared by the other animals who know they will end up on the lions’ menu at some point that week.

Lions are attractive beasts, one of the favorites at the zoo and in the wild. They ooze self-confidence, without a care in the world. Dress them in name brands, style their manes a bit, and you have the kids that make everyone’s lives miserable. The popular kids.

Let’s be honest for a second. Middle and high school is a concentrated safari. It is the epitome of Darwin’s Survival of the Fittest.  You don’t have to be the fastest zebra; you just can’t be the zebra being eaten.

Think about it. When a lion captures a zebra and is about to eat it, do the other zebras help it? No.

Why? Because they don’t want to be eaten either. By not drawing attention to yourself you can make it past lion dinner time undetected.

As long as the lion is going after another zebra, all the other zebras are safe. They are secretly thrilled someone else has taken the fall so they will not be targeted.

It’s not just in the safari, it’s in schools too. This is why, when adults ask the student being bullied if anyone steps in to help, the answer is almost always no.

By speaking up it puts a target on your back and you become dinner for the lion. He is more than happy to make your life miserable, because if you are miserable and hated by all, then he is not. And a bully is created.  

Bullying in schools is not going to stop. It’s been happening since caveman days. People find the weaker people to pick on. It happens in schools, it happens in the real world, it happens in the grocery store. People are mean.

So, what to do about it?

Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold made headlines on April 20, 1999 when they took matters into their own hands and opened fire on their classmates at Columbine High School. It was a tragic event, but it was the first time parents, teachers, and schools made anti-bullying an important issue in schools.

They’ve failed.

I was in sixth grade when Columbine made headlines. Teachers pleaded with us to come to them if we were ever bullied.

I’m sure the teachers meant well, but by telling a teacher you’re setting yourself up to be the lions’ next meal. As soon as you narc, your troubles increase by a million. Ask any student, and they will tell you it’s better to suffer silently then deal with the consequences of telling.

Schools paraded their new rules and punishments if students bullied one another. Students signed pledges, promising they would not bully or tease their classmates, and would stop people from bullying others.

It’s not working.

At least four teenagers in 2011committed suicide because they could not take the bullying anymore.  Were the bullies punished? No.

Insert gasps of shock here. Schools are supposed to be safe places for children, there should not be bullying. 

To you I say wake up.

Say what you want about bullies placing their insecurities and anger on other students. Or say bullies pick on the person they are the most intimidated by. You say bullies are more insecure than you.

Say it until it makes you feel better, because that doesn’t change how bullies are perceived.

You don’t see bullies committing suicide because they cannot face another day at school. You don’t see bullies sitting alone at the lunch table, or in the bathroom trying to wash their lunch off their shirt.

Bullies don’t wear the stereotypical chains, piercings, tattoos, and odd clothing the Disney Channel, cartoons, and other shows depict.

 You see bullies wearing the right clothes, with friends laughing and joking. You see students who are confident, and like to tease people. All in good fun, of course. I bet you wouldn’t be able to pick a bully out of a line up.

Unfortunately, school bullying comes down to teachers. As much good as teachers do, they can’t be everywhere. They don’t see the shove into the locker, the written notes of hatred passed in class. They don’t see the lunch being stolen, or the body slam in gym class. They don’t hear the whispers in the hallways. They don’t see what happens on the bus or on the walk home.

Adults don't see the text messages, the Twitter and Facebook posts. You try, but you can't see what is happening to your child or students.

Teachers are people too, and they can’t see everything, they’re not Superman, but that doesn’t stop them from trying.

 Jay McDowell, of Pioneer High School in Ann Arbor, Mich. made headlines in November of 2010, when he asked a student to leave the classroom after the student made inappropriate comments about gays. The school district suspended the teacher.

Yeah, you heard that right. The teacher was suspended for making a student leave the classroom because of inappropriate comments.

There is a great message to send to students. We want you to speak up, and tell us you’re being bullied, and then not only will the bully not receive punishment, but we will also punish a teacher,for doing the right thing.

Can you tell me why that makes sense? Take your time. I’ll wait.

Schools say they are doing something about it. Parents, who lost their children to suicide, say it’s not enough.

How do you punish a student when the instant claim is, “I was joking.” The bully’s parents are going to defend their child, saying, "he's not capable of it." 

Oh, if only every child was as perfect as their parents believed they were.  

I completely understand why someone would commit suicide rather than face another day at school. I also know how horrible it is to know someone who committed suicide and wishing there was something you could have done to help them.

According to NBC News, in September of 2011, a school in Buffalo, N.Y. played a song at the homecoming dance, in remembrance of a 14-year-old student who committed suicide. His sister and friends began chanting his name to the beat of the song. The students who tormented the student, literally to death, also joined in the chant.

Only, instead of chanting his name, they chanted, “You’re better off dead!” and “We’re glad you’re dead!” and things like that. There was nothing reported about a punishment to the students.

And this is where schools fail children. You cannot allow this behavior to happen. Where were the teachers? The chaperones? Anyone?

Allowing this behavior to happen, and if you don't interfere, you are allowing it, is what is driving children to take matters into their own hands. Students, as well as teachers need to step up and say something.

You can't say you didn't know about it, because ABC News knows about it. The world knows about it.

I understand bullying is as much a part of life as a lion eating a zebra. It happens, but there is a difference between observing the food chain, and being mean.

Lions will not stop eating zebras, but people can stop being mean to each other. I think we’re smart enough to be able to at least tolerate each other.

You don’t have to like everyone, you don’t have to respect everyone, but you do have to be polite to everyone.