That's all fine and dandy, but someone made the point that I'm getting off topic of my blog. I know I started this to share the trials and tribulations of being an adult, and on the occasion enlighten people what it's like to be married to someone that works at one of the most well known companies in the world.
I get off topic, and I use this blog to rant, rave, and hopefully entertain. It's my blog and I can do as I please. And I will.
BUT I do enjoy receiving feedback, so feel free to post comments or do as my friend did and text me.
So after a year of being a Microsoft Wife, this is what I've learned (in no particular order):
- Make sure there is nothing under the stove burner, it will catch fire
- People actually play World of Warcraft and Dungeon and Dragons
- This is not something that is made up for TV or nerd jokes. The games actually exist
- They will make up acronyms to make it sound cooler.
- WOW
- D&D
- It doesn't work
- Just because your husband works at Microsoft does not mean you have built in tech support
- Always hang onto the vacuum filter when you're smacking it against a garbage dumpster
- You will be mocked for wanting anything made by the company 500 miles south of Seattle. It starts with App and ends with le.
- You will have a Zune instead of an iPod
- They are not the same.
- Your TV will actually be a computer
- Your Xbox will also work as a tuner for TV
- You know what tuners are
- You also know way more about computers than you ever thought possible
- You learn there are TV shows for computer nerds
- You find out you like those TV shows
- IT Crowd
- Big Bang Theory
- Numb3rs (I don't like this show, I count knowing it exists as a win)
- There is a difference between nerds and geeks
- You will try to convince everyone you know Bing is better than Google
- It really is
- Your phone has a longer name than you do
- Maureen Diehl v. Windows Phone Seven
- Abbreviating Windows as Win does not make it sound cooler
- At some point during every dinner you will realize a hamster on a wheel does not power your computer
- It's a very sad realization
- There is more to Microsoft than Word, PowerPoint, and Excel
- Excel is still poopy
- People recognize Excel is poopy but do little to nothing to fix it
- People do not like to hear Excel is poopy when they are on the team to do whatever it is they do
- Ask what people do at Microsoft when you're at a Microsoft event
- This prevents you from making fun of Excel in front of one of its programmers
- You learn computer nerds are terrified of humans and just want you to go away and stop apologizing for making fun of Excel
- Talking will scare computer nerds
- As will:
- Quick movements
- Being a female
- Being within thirty yards of them
- Reaching across them to grab the ketchup
- Being a female
- Interrupting their story about something
- Listening to their story about something
- Being a female
- Telling them Zombies do not exist. Yet
- Telling them World of Warcraft and Dungeons and Dragons are not actual places, and do not exist, and will never exist. Poor guy.
- Being a female
- I'm tired of making a list EVERYTHING SCARES THEM
- Always lock your front door
- Know how to work a key and lock
- Do not use pliers to force a key to lock
- Do not let your husband know you used pliers to force a key in a lock
- Know where the tool box is
- Know where the fire extinguisher is
- Laugh
- Microsoft has all the pop aka soda you can drink
- Everyone in Seattle works for Microsoft, or is somehow connected to Microsoft
- Unless they work for Boeing, Starbucks, or a start up company
- Seattle has fantastic beer
- You will consume a lot of beer when people begin talking about computers
- Always carry your ID
- The nicest people I've met are computer nerds and their spouses
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