Getting Crafty

Any time I begin a sentence with, "Hey Chris, you know what we should do?" It turns into a bigger project than originally thought.

My idea was a good one. Let's make a cornhole game! Simple right? Grab some wood, put it on an slant, put a whole in the wood, throw bean bags through it.

One week later, four burns and a loss of fingerprints, everything is just about done. Please note, Chris did not suffer any injuries.

Chris says I greatly under estimate the project and over estimate my abilities.

Sounds about right.

I can't sew, but for whatever reason, this small fact did not slow me down from thinking I could make bean bags.

I grabbed needle and thread and tried to sew the bean bags. The material was to thick, to sew, and I was to impatient to wait for someone who could help me on a sewing machine.

People advised lessons, but I could not work on my project during the lesson, I had to go back to the preschool of sewing, and I am way to impatient for that. Also, the risk of sewing my fingers together was fairly high.

So, I had to come up with a plan B, fast!

Instead of sewing my fingers together, I shall burn them and then glue them together. Oh, hot glue, you are fantastic.

How to make no-sew bean bags:

1. Gather your materials. This includes a 25 pound bag of pinto beans. I still have about 20 pounds of beans if anyone would like them. Also, please note, no project can be completed without duct tape.
2. Measure out your squares. My goal was to make 5 1/2 inch squares, so I measured 5 1/2 by 11 rectangles to save me from having to glue a fourth side.

3. After you cut out your rectangle, it should like something like this.

















4. Fold your piece in half to make sure the corners line up. Nothing is worse than your bean bag looking like a drunken sailor made it.








5. After you glue 2 of your 3 sides, place a piece of saran wrap over the square and pile on the beans! I found a heavier, fatter bean bag worked best. 

6. After you have piled on the beans, wrap them up! Secure the saran wrap with duct tape to keep any beans from jumping.












After the beans are secure, force them into the bean bag.

TA-DA!

I am pretty crafty.

 

A New Frontier, Costco

It's the law. I swear it is, because everyone is shops there. My neighbors are all pulling out large boxes filled with groceries and other items. When you move to Kirkland you must be a Costco member.

I'm not sure what happens if you don't, I'm not brave enough to find out.

From mattresses to kayaks to large screen TVs to a year supply of toilet paper Costco has it all, and then some.

These Costco shoppers are on a mission, and do not get in the way of their carts, they will run you over with a ten pound chicken breast and fifty pounds of ketchup. If only I were exaggerating.

I love the efficiency of the Costco shopper: sprint down the aisle, drift around corners and never stop the cart while grabbing an item.

You just have to be aware that like the stop signs outside the parking lot go ignored, so do other carts. Lead, follow, or get out of the way, because these shoppers have no time for you trying to find ten pounds of barbecue sauce.

It was my first solo trip to Costco, and knowing it could get crazy I went early so I wouldn't have to battle crowds as I tried to remember if the toilet paper was in aisle 15 or aisle 155.

Arriving just before 10 a.m. I found a parking spot close to the entrance, and a line forming outside the closed gates.

Was there a giveaway? A special sale? A ride on a unicorn?

No. Apparently, it's imperative you be the first one through the doors. I was not.

Oh, Costco, how important you make me feel as I walk under a sign that says: "Members Only" and make me show my Costco membership card. I feel like an elite shopper as I buy a fifteen pack of socks to go with my 30 hamburgers.

I felt like I should have had a special badge on my shirt as I walked through the entrance, looking up at the heavens, where only a forklift can reach.

I'm still trying to get the lay of the land, so there were several trips up and down the same aisle so I could look at both sides before I could determine I had everything I needed.

It's an organized chaos, one that I'm still learning, but people are more than happy to help.

In the past two weeks, I've learned that I am afraid of the dark. So, Chris proposed a night light, probably so I wouldn't break my neck in the middle of the night trying to get a glass of water. Or I could finally let him sleep after I hear a noise.

 I asked a nice man named Dave where the nightlights were. He proudly marched me over to the lighting area on aisle 54 and showed me the outdoor lights people hang on their garages.

"It's used at night," Dave told me excitedly.

Yes, they are used at night, but if I were to put that in my room I'm pretty sure I would be blinded worse than Clark Griswold's neighbors.

I thanked him, pretended to look through the different lights until he left.

When he left, I went to grab milk.

Oh man.

I'm all about the non fat aka skim milk. I feel like anything higher needs to be chewed or has a sour taste. If I have to suck it up, I'll drink one percent. I might put two percent in my cereal if I'm starving and have no other options. Three percent? Let me grab a spoon.

Anyway.

One percent aka low fat was in easy sight. So was whatever cute names Costco gave two and three percent. I asked about no fat milk. The woman pointed out the one percent.

Me: Is that the lowest percent you have?
Her: Yes
Me: Okay

I wasn't thrilled but I go through milk so fast it will only be an inconvenience for about a week.

Her: There is this type of milk over here, it's more like water than milk, though.
Me: Skim? I'll take it.
Her: Weird look.

Apparently she loved the three percent.

After I found a three pound bag of non organic tortilla chips (everything is organic, it's great but I'm still trying to figure out how junk food can be organic), I headed to checkout.

Clerk: We sell normal size hotdogs?!
Me: Yeah, but you just have to buy three packs of them.
Clerk: But they're normal size!

Shocking, I know.

I'm enjoying being an elite snooty Costco member, I'm just not turning my back on the traditional grocery store, yet.

The New House

I now know how the Wicked Witch of the East felt when Dorothy's house fell on her.

A heavy weight sits on your chest as you look around and try to figure out how you got here.

I signed 75 million pages of documents.

The Wicked Witch of the East was taunting the munchkins. Karma, b*tch.

I was talking to my grandpa today, a man who will put life in perspective for you. He asked how the house was, I told him a lot of work.

He asked what I was expecting.

Candy canes and Unicorns.

He laughed at me.

He told me owning a house is a lot of hard work, and like anything you have to work for, worth having. He also said, do it right the first time.

So here I am, trying to do it right the first time. Without being attacked by anymore snakes. I picked up a pile of raked leaves and a snake came slithering out. It was only a garter, but it definitely caught me off guard, and I had to re-rake the stupid leaves, this time, sans snake. I also found two small toads. It was an exciting day!

The biggest challenge is cleaning up the weeds without contracting poison ivy (there are a lot of plants with 3 leaves and are green. Any other distinguishable characteristics?)

There are a million weeds, but also a million questions.

What is the best way to pull out dead tomato plants?

• Just grab it with your two hands and pull that sucker out. There is now a hole I have to deal with, maybe it can be a home for snakes.

What is the best way to get piles of dead pine needles into the compost bucket?

• I think I need to invest in a shovel. The simple task of raking the needles into the bucket on its side is not working as well as I want it too.

What is the best way to clean a kitchen floor?

• I can hear my mother screaming at me. But the best way is to strap two towels onto your feet, spray soapy water onto the floor and begin skating.

How is it possible for algae and moss to grow everywhere?!

• This still baffles me about the northwest. I'm going to install hairdryers throughout the yard to keep everything dry, under umbrellas of course. I don't want to electrocute Steve the Squirrel who leaves pinecones by our backdoor. He also likes to drop branches on my head.

As the yard ever so slowly begins to look like a yard and not something out of the Jungle Book, I might be able to enjoy the new house. Until we begin painting and renovating.

Just as long as we do it right.