My friend was telling me about a book that would help me tidy my house and keep it tidy. She said a friend was reading it and had a lot of bags of things to toss and donate.
Interesting.
Would I be interested?
I'd like to think my house is clean, and it is before people come over, and tends to stay more picked up in the winter when we're not packing and unpacking and dropping towels everywhere (I'm guilty of the towels)
The house kinda looks like a bear frat party came through, and only stopped partying when a tornado ripped through.
No matter how much I clean, the house looks like it was destroyed within three days.
Sure, I said. Let me borrow it.
I understand why people brag about their workouts and diets now.
People are talking about packing, or their houses and I'm the obnoxious person who suddenly knows EVERYTHING about tidying.
I've read 177 pages of "The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up" and I'm more than happy to tell you how to tidy. But that's weird. So I'll try to keep it under control.
Anyway, I've already donated three bags of clothes, and Marie was right, I can feel my stuff relax now they're no longer crammed into drawers with things that don't bring me joy.
Keep things that make you happy, get rid of everything else, and thank them for doing their job and at one time giving you joy.
Okay, it's a weird book.
I may be more granola than I thought.
It also uses Japanese efficiency. That's pretty cool. It took someone ten days to nearly complete the KonMarie Method, I'm on day three, and progress is happening. Not as quickly as Marie probably wants it to happen, but I'm making progress.
I think.
Anyway, the method makes you grab ALL of your clothes into one place and go through them. There is no room to room nonsense, there is no room for "Maybe I'll keep this" No. Because when I think "Maybe I'll keep this" I have a scary Japanese woman yelling at me, as you can see below. (My friend sent me this video when I told her I felt like I was being screamed at. Terrifying.)
Okay, maybe she's not terrifying, but I have this voice in my head saying: Get Rid of It!
So I am.
I've moved onto books and papers, and being a writer I have a thousand plus one pieces of paper. Gone. Books? I've only kept the ones I LOVE, so that's easy. But now it gets a little difficult. Marie says I shouldn't nag my family to tidy because they'll resent me. And I shouldn't ask my family's permission to get rid of stuff I know they haven't used in forever.
I'm asking permission.
Anyway, I'm going through the book, and she says to thank your shoes for protecting your feet and your bag for carrying your things, and your jacket for keeping you warm, and then you put everything into its home.
I'm not sure if I'll be able to do that, but I'm enjoying the feeling of less stuff. I feel like the house is slowly getting bigger.
Warning: This book also makes you want to do some serious deep cleaning. Like cleaning out HVAC vents and moving furniture to clean.
Oh, Marie, what have you done to me?
Ohhh, more things to get rid of!
Thursday, August 20, 2015
Friday, June 12, 2015
Advice to the Grads
In the last couple of weeks my Facebook and Twitter feeds have been filled with famous people giving advice to college grads.
Ten years ago I graduated high school, I'm trying to be a published author, and I operate a blog focusing on me trying to be the adult I thought I was supposed to be. You know, competent.
And because of this I'm extremely qualified to give a commence speech type thing:
To the high school graduates, Congratulations!
You've proven you can remember facts and figures and spit them out at a moment's notice, and you're capable of filling in bubbles with a number two pencil.
Forget all of that.
As of now, you're going to be graded and judged on what type of person you are, and what you can do for others and for yourself.
This is the time when you get to figure out what type of person you want to be. (Hint: If you're going to college you have a few more years to figure it out) And the choice is up to you, but remember the rest of the world will be judging you, so don't be a jerk.
Also, enjoy this summer with your friends. This will be the last summer where everything is as it was. Next summer friends may stay at school, have jobs, hang out with new friends, and be working. The jokes of senior year won't matter as much, and you'll all be changed, mostly for the good.
So, before you embark on your journey, enjoy the time with your friends and family. Have fun, cause shenanigans, don't get arrested.
Remember this time, capture the moments with friends (you don't have to use your cell) and go on adventures, have bonfires, hang out.
High school was not the best years of your life (unless you make it so), nor will college. A million things will happen between now and by the time you get the invite for your ten year class reunion (it comes faster than you think)
You will work hard for your goals and you may not reach them, but something better comes along you never thought would happen. Embrace it.
Things you never thought possible, or thought of at all, will happen, while things you've worked your hardest for may not.
There will be a time when you look around and wonder how you got where you are. It's entirely possible your life is unrecognizable from what you imagined.
I hope it works out so it's better than you thought possible.
And if not, there's Netflix.
You will fail. You will fail so hard you won't want to pick up the phone and talk to anyone. You will want to hide out and watch movies and eat pizza and wonder how the hell you got yourself into this mess.
And at that moment you have two options. Get up and work some more, or lie there and become a blob.
Don't be a blob. Be glad that you tried, be glad that you lived, and be glad you took the chance. And go do it all over again.
And for some of you, you may fail more than you succeed. So did a lot of people who have led the way in new technology, science, books, and acceptable pizza toppings.
It's okay to cry yourself to sleep after you've failed. And if you're a college student, you may find yourself just breaking into tears at three in the morning as you try to finish a project or paper.
It's okay. It happens.
At some point you're going to wish for an answer sheet. You're going to want to see what the future holds. You're going to want the answers for your exams. You're going to question your ability and why you are where you are.
You're going to feel lost and overwhelmed.
Ride it out.
Here's the secret I learned since graduating high school: No one knows what they're doing or why, or where they parked their car.
Welcome to the scary world of doubt.
The training wheels of life are officially off, and you're on your own to pedal. However you remain upright, do it. You may pedal differently than others, but if it works for you, do it.
You do you.
You will meet people who's lives appear perfect, and neatly mapped out for success, while you struggle working the soft serve ice cream machine (hint: turn the knob the other way) it's okay, everyone finds their way at some point. Sometimes, it takes a bit longer than others.
And if you're the one who has it all figured out, help the poor person who is starving for some ice cream.
Have fun and good luck!
Ten years ago I graduated high school, I'm trying to be a published author, and I operate a blog focusing on me trying to be the adult I thought I was supposed to be. You know, competent.
And because of this I'm extremely qualified to give a commence speech type thing:
To the high school graduates, Congratulations!
You've proven you can remember facts and figures and spit them out at a moment's notice, and you're capable of filling in bubbles with a number two pencil.
Forget all of that.
As of now, you're going to be graded and judged on what type of person you are, and what you can do for others and for yourself.
This is the time when you get to figure out what type of person you want to be. (Hint: If you're going to college you have a few more years to figure it out) And the choice is up to you, but remember the rest of the world will be judging you, so don't be a jerk.
Also, enjoy this summer with your friends. This will be the last summer where everything is as it was. Next summer friends may stay at school, have jobs, hang out with new friends, and be working. The jokes of senior year won't matter as much, and you'll all be changed, mostly for the good.
So, before you embark on your journey, enjoy the time with your friends and family. Have fun, cause shenanigans, don't get arrested.
Remember this time, capture the moments with friends (you don't have to use your cell) and go on adventures, have bonfires, hang out.
High school was not the best years of your life (unless you make it so), nor will college. A million things will happen between now and by the time you get the invite for your ten year class reunion (it comes faster than you think)
You will work hard for your goals and you may not reach them, but something better comes along you never thought would happen. Embrace it.
Things you never thought possible, or thought of at all, will happen, while things you've worked your hardest for may not.
There will be a time when you look around and wonder how you got where you are. It's entirely possible your life is unrecognizable from what you imagined.
I hope it works out so it's better than you thought possible.
And if not, there's Netflix.
You will fail. You will fail so hard you won't want to pick up the phone and talk to anyone. You will want to hide out and watch movies and eat pizza and wonder how the hell you got yourself into this mess.
And at that moment you have two options. Get up and work some more, or lie there and become a blob.
Don't be a blob. Be glad that you tried, be glad that you lived, and be glad you took the chance. And go do it all over again.
And for some of you, you may fail more than you succeed. So did a lot of people who have led the way in new technology, science, books, and acceptable pizza toppings.
It's okay to cry yourself to sleep after you've failed. And if you're a college student, you may find yourself just breaking into tears at three in the morning as you try to finish a project or paper.
It's okay. It happens.
At some point you're going to wish for an answer sheet. You're going to want to see what the future holds. You're going to want the answers for your exams. You're going to question your ability and why you are where you are.
You're going to feel lost and overwhelmed.
Ride it out.
Here's the secret I learned since graduating high school: No one knows what they're doing or why, or where they parked their car.
Welcome to the scary world of doubt.
The training wheels of life are officially off, and you're on your own to pedal. However you remain upright, do it. You may pedal differently than others, but if it works for you, do it.
You do you.
You will meet people who's lives appear perfect, and neatly mapped out for success, while you struggle working the soft serve ice cream machine (hint: turn the knob the other way) it's okay, everyone finds their way at some point. Sometimes, it takes a bit longer than others.
And if you're the one who has it all figured out, help the poor person who is starving for some ice cream.
Have fun and good luck!
Thursday, January 29, 2015
31 Days Sober
It has been thirty-one days since I've had a drink. #SoberSolidarity
It began with a friend, who will be known as FRIEND, who was sober for three years, after a night that landed FRIEND in the hospital to have stomach pumped and a cast placed on a broken leg. FRIEND has struggled in the last couple months, complete with a trip to the drunk tank on Halloween. So when I was asked if I would help FRIEND stay sober for a year I said yes.
FRIEND began getting back on track in November with the help of others, and I was asked to be sober the month of January. Sure, no problem. How hard could it be?
Not as hard as I thought, but still difficult.
Also, in December, I entered a weight loss bet with a friend. If we lost the weight, we would go on a warm, sunny trip for a weekend. I knew I was going to be sober for the month of January, and felt confident I could lose fifteen pounds.
I knew of the health benefits of cutting out alcohol, and everyone says if you want to lose weight, cut out the drinking. I lost eight pounds this month (twelve since we began this), I don't know if that is from not drinking, or a combination of that, and eating healthier, and being more diligent in workouts.
Either way, I feel good.
We rang in 2015 on the roof of a friends' house, with drinks in hand. I finished mine, and from 12:30 a.m. January 1 and until Sunday (Feb. 1) I'm sober. I'm also not going to be popping open a drink at 12:01 a.m. on Feb. 1. Thankyouverymuch.
It was more difficult in ways I never thought, and easier in others.
Our house did not go dry for this month. Chris still drank a beer when cooking, or after work. I was moving beer bottles around in the fridge, and there was no temptation. We went to Whistler and the fridge was packed with beer, and the temptation wasn't bad.
What was bad, was being at a brewery, or out to dinner and ordering water when I saw the beer list. It was also hard to wait longer for my water when everyone already had their beer.
The month began and I was hit with my first temptation. The Cotton Bowl. Michigan State vs. Baylor. Michigan State was getting blown out, which I watched sober. Then State mounted the most amazing comeback which I watched sober.
The temptation was high, but I was okay with not having anything but water in front of me. It was harder the next day when we went to a friend's house for Chris's birthday and Chris and our friend, Charles, opened several bottles of delicious beer to split.
We went to Whistler, and the thought of not drinking with everyone was harder than not drinking with everyone. FRIEND told me I could drink while I was at Whistler, but I knew FRIEND was struggling more than I was. After all, I had an end date, FRIEND has no day knowing a beer can be opened.
I told FRIEND I would see this through. And FRIEND stayed sober. Awesome. There were nine of us in the house, and once people knew I wasn't drinking they were cool with having a beer for me, which was dubbed a "Mo Beer."
Not a single person, who knew about me being sober, offered me anything with alcohol the entire month, and were pretty supportive.
And this is where I feel lucky. I could turn down a drink and say I'm #SoberSolidarity and people backed off. When FRIEND turned down a drink FRIEND said people would pressure, or would ask why FRIEND couldn't have only one. Which partly led to the relapse.
What I learned during this month, was how unhelpful, and rude people can be. I was at my writer's
critique group, and I announced I was twenty-one days sober. People were impressed, and said congratulations.
A friend asked if I was going to meetings, and I said I was only doing this for a month, and it was in solidarity for a friend. Another member of the group began mocking the idea of "for a friend, suuuure, suuuure," she said.
Even if I was going to AA, and needed a friend cover, because I didn't want people to know; I thought it was rude to mock. People don't have to be encouraging, it would be nice if they were, but not everyone is, so if you can't say "good job," SAY NOTHING.
I also learned how often the term Alcoholic was tossed about. Having a night of drinking more than you should, does not make you an alcoholic. Drinking one more than you should, does not make you an alcoholic.Having a beer or two every night, does not make you an alcoholic.
As FRIEND told me, FRIEND could not wait to get home and open the new twelve pack. FRIEND could not wait to get drunk, and would not stop until FRIEND was so drunk FRIEND could not make it from the couch to the bedroom.
People who drink and alcoholics are separated by the ability to stop. Alcoholics as FRIEND told me, will not stop until drunk, or passed out. FRIEND craved that moment of drunkenness where FRIEND did not care what other people thought and felt confident.
We were out the other night with friends, and a couple stories of people getting drunk were being told, and a person at the table kept repeating "That's because you're an alcoholic. That's because you're an alcoholic."
The person telling the story is not an alcoholic.
Just because a person has gotten drunk in their lives does not make them an alcoholic. According to Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, IV, alcoholism is a progressive disease, symptoms and effects of drinking alcohol become increasingly more severe over time.
Alcohol abuse is when someone continues to drink even after it reaches a level that causes recurrent problems, like missing work, driving drunk, skipping things to drink, and continuing with the behavior even after being reprimanded, or given a DUI. "Continuing to drink after it causes someone to miss work, drive drunk, shirk responsibilities or get in trouble with the law is considered alcohol abuse."
An alcoholic, or "Alcohol Dependent", can experience other symptoms, including neglect of other activities, excessive use of alcohol, impaired control of alcohol consumption, persistence of alcohol use, large amounts of time spent in alcohol-related activities, withdrawal from others and a high tolerance of alcohol.
It's a mental disorder, and the addiction to alcohol controls them. Meaning, they cannot have just one, because one leads to a lot, and poor decisions, and as FRIEND told me, those poor decisions either seem like good ones at the time, or give the feeling of it can be accomplished, no big deal.
FRIEND is doing well, FRIEND made it the entire month without a drink. It was a struggle, but FRIEND made it through. There were a lot of AA meetings attended, nights spent on other people's couches because FRIEND couldn't be alone in fear of drinking. But FRIEND is making it.And I'm incredibly proud of FRIEND.
It began with a friend, who will be known as FRIEND, who was sober for three years, after a night that landed FRIEND in the hospital to have stomach pumped and a cast placed on a broken leg. FRIEND has struggled in the last couple months, complete with a trip to the drunk tank on Halloween. So when I was asked if I would help FRIEND stay sober for a year I said yes.
FRIEND began getting back on track in November with the help of others, and I was asked to be sober the month of January. Sure, no problem. How hard could it be?
Not as hard as I thought, but still difficult.
Also, in December, I entered a weight loss bet with a friend. If we lost the weight, we would go on a warm, sunny trip for a weekend. I knew I was going to be sober for the month of January, and felt confident I could lose fifteen pounds.
I knew of the health benefits of cutting out alcohol, and everyone says if you want to lose weight, cut out the drinking. I lost eight pounds this month (twelve since we began this), I don't know if that is from not drinking, or a combination of that, and eating healthier, and being more diligent in workouts.
Either way, I feel good.
We rang in 2015 on the roof of a friends' house, with drinks in hand. I finished mine, and from 12:30 a.m. January 1 and until Sunday (Feb. 1) I'm sober. I'm also not going to be popping open a drink at 12:01 a.m. on Feb. 1. Thankyouverymuch.
It was more difficult in ways I never thought, and easier in others.
Our house did not go dry for this month. Chris still drank a beer when cooking, or after work. I was moving beer bottles around in the fridge, and there was no temptation. We went to Whistler and the fridge was packed with beer, and the temptation wasn't bad.
What was bad, was being at a brewery, or out to dinner and ordering water when I saw the beer list. It was also hard to wait longer for my water when everyone already had their beer.
The month began and I was hit with my first temptation. The Cotton Bowl. Michigan State vs. Baylor. Michigan State was getting blown out, which I watched sober. Then State mounted the most amazing comeback which I watched sober.
The temptation was high, but I was okay with not having anything but water in front of me. It was harder the next day when we went to a friend's house for Chris's birthday and Chris and our friend, Charles, opened several bottles of delicious beer to split.
We went to Whistler, and the thought of not drinking with everyone was harder than not drinking with everyone. FRIEND told me I could drink while I was at Whistler, but I knew FRIEND was struggling more than I was. After all, I had an end date, FRIEND has no day knowing a beer can be opened.
I told FRIEND I would see this through. And FRIEND stayed sober. Awesome. There were nine of us in the house, and once people knew I wasn't drinking they were cool with having a beer for me, which was dubbed a "Mo Beer."
Not a single person, who knew about me being sober, offered me anything with alcohol the entire month, and were pretty supportive.
And this is where I feel lucky. I could turn down a drink and say I'm #SoberSolidarity and people backed off. When FRIEND turned down a drink FRIEND said people would pressure, or would ask why FRIEND couldn't have only one. Which partly led to the relapse.
What I learned during this month, was how unhelpful, and rude people can be. I was at my writer's
critique group, and I announced I was twenty-one days sober. People were impressed, and said congratulations.
A friend asked if I was going to meetings, and I said I was only doing this for a month, and it was in solidarity for a friend. Another member of the group began mocking the idea of "for a friend, suuuure, suuuure," she said.
Even if I was going to AA, and needed a friend cover, because I didn't want people to know; I thought it was rude to mock. People don't have to be encouraging, it would be nice if they were, but not everyone is, so if you can't say "good job," SAY NOTHING.
I also learned how often the term Alcoholic was tossed about. Having a night of drinking more than you should, does not make you an alcoholic. Drinking one more than you should, does not make you an alcoholic.Having a beer or two every night, does not make you an alcoholic.
As FRIEND told me, FRIEND could not wait to get home and open the new twelve pack. FRIEND could not wait to get drunk, and would not stop until FRIEND was so drunk FRIEND could not make it from the couch to the bedroom.
People who drink and alcoholics are separated by the ability to stop. Alcoholics as FRIEND told me, will not stop until drunk, or passed out. FRIEND craved that moment of drunkenness where FRIEND did not care what other people thought and felt confident.
We were out the other night with friends, and a couple stories of people getting drunk were being told, and a person at the table kept repeating "That's because you're an alcoholic. That's because you're an alcoholic."
The person telling the story is not an alcoholic.
Just because a person has gotten drunk in their lives does not make them an alcoholic. According to Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, IV, alcoholism is a progressive disease, symptoms and effects of drinking alcohol become increasingly more severe over time.
Alcohol abuse is when someone continues to drink even after it reaches a level that causes recurrent problems, like missing work, driving drunk, skipping things to drink, and continuing with the behavior even after being reprimanded, or given a DUI. "Continuing to drink after it causes someone to miss work, drive drunk, shirk responsibilities or get in trouble with the law is considered alcohol abuse."
An alcoholic, or "Alcohol Dependent", can experience other symptoms, including neglect of other activities, excessive use of alcohol, impaired control of alcohol consumption, persistence of alcohol use, large amounts of time spent in alcohol-related activities, withdrawal from others and a high tolerance of alcohol.
It's a mental disorder, and the addiction to alcohol controls them. Meaning, they cannot have just one, because one leads to a lot, and poor decisions, and as FRIEND told me, those poor decisions either seem like good ones at the time, or give the feeling of it can be accomplished, no big deal.
FRIEND is doing well, FRIEND made it the entire month without a drink. It was a struggle, but FRIEND made it through. There were a lot of AA meetings attended, nights spent on other people's couches because FRIEND couldn't be alone in fear of drinking. But FRIEND is making it.And I'm incredibly proud of FRIEND.
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