I had a super cute title: 30 days, 30 years. But, I didn't like the blog, so now I write this on my teeny-tiny phone keyboard in Munich.
Please forgive typos (more than normal) because my phone sucks)
Here's the "Diehl" I was going to write this super awesome blog with super awesome drawings I did this past summer for this post and other comics I've gathered for this (probably crappy) post, but it's not happening.
Instead, you're getting a raw post of a person closing on the "third life crisis" which is NOT a thing. Hell, half of us entering this crisis are still trying to pay off college.
But that's another post.
In twenty days I turn thirty.
do I feel older?
no.
the question nor the answer has changed since I remember.
BUT
I know no longer feel like I'm flying when I run. Instead, I feel every joint cry in pain.
I am no longer in awe of my elders for knowing every every answer, but am annoyed they do not answer how I want them to.
I still enjoy sunsets, but feel the pressure of another day passing without an accomplishment pressing on me.
"Running out of time"
Means more to me than ever before, thanks Hamilton.
When I was 10, I never felt older than nine, but 15 made me feel older than 10, just like 19 made me feel older than 13.
When I turned 20, I was so happy to no longer be a teenager. I do not know if turning 30 makes me feel happy to no longer be in my 20s.
I know my nights at the bar are not over.
I know my nights of eating takeout and watching Netflix are not over. What is over is the feeling of invincibility.
the feeling of:
Oh, might as well jump when met with a cliff.
(Sorry mom, but I jumped the many feet down while skiing, numerous times)
the feeling now, is where do I need to turn so I don't have to jump?
I don't avoid those obstacles more, I just know how to handle them. And if that's what being in the 30s means: doing stupid shit, but knowing how to get out of it alive; than I'm good for life.
I think I finally fifigure it out, maybe.
Do what you will, but survive the landing.
if I can stick the landing of turning 30, than I think I'll be able to see 31. 😊
