How to Cause Panic With No Effort

As amazing as Facebook is, you do need to take what is posted with a grain of salt. What used to be a place for nothing but facts, written and posted by drunken college students, the mainstream of it has caused Facebook to have the same credibility as a tabloid.

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What used to be the encylopedia of relationships, trips, parties, exams, and classroom changes is now a dumping ground of emotion.

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People post things to let the world know that their boy/girlfriend is a/n [censored for family reading]. Or they have a job interview, or you know, trying to become arrested. The status updates are beyond fantastic for comical relief, past that, well, proceed with caution. Not everything you see on Facebook status is real. Shocker!

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You especially need to proceed with caution if your mother is on Facebook. Like really pay attention to what you write, or be prepared for consequences-a phone call.

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Over the years I've learned something very important. It is not hard to make my mother crazy. I do not have to much more than post a Facebook status for her to call me and say "What the hell?" Hi mom, nice to talk to you.

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My status said something about me TRYING to convince police to arrest me and put me in jail on kidnapping charges.

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I think she missed the "trying" assumed I was arrested, and decided to call me. Because we all know Police allow you to answer your cell phone while sitting in a jail cell. Maybe they would. It is a cell in a cell....right, back to my point.

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While she was trying to figure out what I was talking about, I sat here on my couch writing away.

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She realized it is research for a novel I'm working on, said goodbye and hung up. Her comment on my status: "things you do for a story."

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Yup, it is the things I do for a story, and you know, for a good laugh. But Mom, I promise if I am arrested you will not find out via Facebook. Most likely Skype.