Friday, March 4, 2011

Middle Aged Men=AUJDSFBKDFBISIBH

I am a smart, independent women. I scare you, but you just have to get over it.

Somehow, men over the age of 40, did not get this memo. They waltz into the store, after parking their BMWs, Lexus's, and Audis in two spaces.

I greet them with a simple "How's it going?" or "How are you?" These are called manners, we learn them in the Midwest.

Somehow, these men don't understand that this is a greeting and not a reason to either a)flirt or b) assume I know nothing about skis.

As far as I'm concerned, if they respond in either of those fashions I should be allowed to kick them in their shins.

Today, a man waltzed in, after nearly taking out the front window, and the first thing he asks me?

"Do you know anything about skis?"

Let's see. I've grown up skiing, I spend most of my winters on skis, have demo'd more skis than the store has to sell. I've spent my winters catering to the rich and the wanna-be famous, and convincing them which ski is best for their ability.

"Yes," I snap.

A woman across the store begins laughing.

"See," he tells me, "she thinks that was a good question."

No sir, she's laughing because you are being a JACKASS!

To scream this would cost me my job. I think that would be an okay consequence to going off on this guy.

"I haven't done any research, but I need the most advanced ski you have."

Okay, showing up to a ski shop demanding the best ski, WITHOUT research, is like showing up at a car lot and demanding to drive the best car, without knowing how to drive a manual.

"Alright, well let me show you what we have," I tell him in my best attempt at keeping calm and not punching him.

"These aren't advanced enough," he tell me.

These are skis that Bode Miller and Lindsey Vaughn ski on.

"How about you go and look on the Internet and see what there is, and then come back tomorrow, and we can find a ski that's perfect for you," I suggest.

"Excuse me, miss? I was wondering....."

Oh, dear God/Buddha/
Elohim/Allah, let me make it through this afternoon.

Next to being thought of being stupid, calling me sweetie, sugar, babe, or darling, will cause me to lose it.

"Hey, honey, I'm looking for ski boots, but I want them to be comfortable."

One, I'm not your wife, two I have no idea who you are, so why are you giving me a nickname, and three, ski boots are not comfortable.

Luckily, my coworkers have been able to step in before I lose it on a customer.

"Ass hole on line one."
"Idiot on line two."
" needs boots."

And my male coworkers usually go ballistic that these men are causing me to call for reinforcements.

I'm not easily intimidated, in fact these men don't intimidate me at all. Make me angry as hell? Yes. And needing to keep a job, is winning out over going nuts on them. But look out, old men. On my last day, you will wish you were nicer to me.

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