Friday, July 18, 2014

Legit Adulthood Checklist

Let me just say, Adulthood sucks. 
 all the responsibility!!

Bills, groceries, cleaning, house stuff, responsibility sucks.

Adulthood sucks. There, I've said it, can I opt out?

I've technically been an adult for nine years; however I've been able to avoid actual adulthood for those nine years.

Sure there are bills, and a mortgage, and I don't eat candy for breakfast like I promised myself I would. But I do have infinite Cocoa Krispies, and that alone keeps me from having both feet in adulthood.

Being an adult was supposed to be fun. I was supposed to be able to do anything I wanted whenever I wanted. Except there is far more responsibility than I ever imagined.

Funny Pictures – 37 Pics

Until this week I'd never considered myself a real adult. Somehow I got smacked in the face with a sign that says "WELCOME TO ADULTHOOD!" Unfortunately the sign smacked me as I was on a test drive for a new car. Luckily I didn't crash.

Like every teenager in the country I took drivers ed, and let me tell you, test driving my potential car was a massive flashback.

I checked all my mirrors, adjusted my seat, and tried not to terrify the guy in the passenger seat with my driving, and then slammed on the breaks and sent us all forward into our seat belts. The salesman practically hit the dash.

Sorry.

Engine breaking, touchy break pedal, all those things, and suddenly I was fifteen again. Awesome.

Use the turn signal for every turn, crawl over speed bumps, slow for pedestrian crossings, yup, all of that.

I have yet to buy a vehicle, but I'm close, and it is stressful, and overwhelming, and hard.

I have a theory about adulthood. There is an adulthood checklist, and not until is every item checked off do you become an adult. Buying a car is one of the biggest items on that list.

I'm checking off more items than I'm happy to admit, ever so slowly life is pulling me into the adulthood realm, and no matter how much I'm screaming, it's happening. I'm slowly turning into an adult, like a slime monster.

Oh man. I needed a car, and now I'm an adult. Abort! Abort!

And there is no coming back from adulthood. It is a horrible place with horrible things and horribleness.

That's what I'm screaming!
I'm trying to find the things that I thought were so cool when I was a young and silly child, and besides Cocoa Krispies and no real bedtime, and being able to do whatever I want when I want, but still within the bounds of society.

And I really want the second star to the right, grab some Fairy Dust, and have a new car without having to be an adult. Is that so hard? 

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