Ohhhh Fuuuudge

Does anyone remember Amelia Bedelia? She was a maid that should have been fired. She tried to make bread rise by lift the pan of bread by a rope to the lamp? Whatever she touched she lovingly messed up. I blame her for my struggles. Maybe if I read Martha Stewart How-To books I wouldn't have messed up the wall.

Probably not.

A couple years ago I hot glued a flag onto the bedroom wall. The reasoning of gluing it was simple. It would not damage the wall. You can easily pull the glue off the wall and it does not peel the paint. At least it doesn't on a cinder block wall in a dorm room.

Paint on drywall?

The paint peeled. It would not be an issue if there was not nine layers of paint on the wall. I didn't even touch the drywall and there are large chips in the wall.

Ohhhh, fuuuudge.

Only I didn't say "Fudge." I said THE word, the big one, the queen-mother of dirty words, the "F-dash-dash-dash" word!

(I will give you 10 points if you can name that movie. When you get to 30 points you get a baby polar bear)

It's okay. I can fix this. I begin tearing through boxes trying to find the white paint I acquired to paint a bulldog. I've used it several times to touch up base mouldings after I destroy them with the vacuum.

After opening seven boxes and unpacking another three, I have to admit defeat.

The paint is gone.

Fudge. (No polar bear cub for you)

Okay, I can fix this. This is nothing Home Depot can't fix.

I walk in and am greeted with thirteen white swatches. Good, my apartment is white. I can do this. I look at the different swatches, and find the one that matches the paint I had before.

I may not remember where my cellphone is, or where my shoes are, but I know the white ended in 25.

Done.

I jump onto the bed with the open container of paint, prepared to fix the wall.






You thought I spilled it on the bed didn't you?

Nope.

I painted a small part of the chipped paint. The paint is slightly lighter than the original paint, but not by much.

Okay, that's cool. Wet paint is always a tad lighter.

I begin painting a bit more. It looks okay, nothing I would brag about, but I paint the chipped bits then a little bit around the area to blend it in.

It did not blend.

Fudge. (no polar bear)

Okay, okay, okay. I can make this better. Maybe.

What if I painted around the area a little more and then it can look like the original paint wasn't done well?

Crazy talk.

Unless you are going to repaint the entire room, do not make the area that you messed up, bigger.

I've inserted panic mode.

All I could think was, "Chris is going to kill me."

Luckily, Chris did not kill me when he saw the racing stripe on the wall. He also didn't kill me when he saw the dents.

I have a wonderful husband.

I do need to go back to Home Depot and find the correct shade of white. I don't know why there are so many variations of white. Who came up with that idea?

Back to Home Depot I go, to find the correct white, and enough paint to cover the chips and dents throughout the apartment.