Death Trap Money Pit

Gas leaks and Carbon Monoxide poisoning, fires and earthquakes, fallen tree limbs and hornets nests in the eaves, ROUSs in the crawl space and raccoons in the chimney, collapsing roof and flooded house, leaking ducts and pipes, uninsulated attic and a rotting exterior.

A house is nothing more then impending doom. I'm on the verge of a Seattle-Freak Out.

You don't know the Seattle-Freak Out?

It is when you completely over react to something so minor the rest of the world barely bats an eyelash.

Snow in Seattle? Insert The Freak Out of people running around like headless chickens on fire. Roads were closed, schools were cancelled, businesses shutdown, people ransacked the grocery store, and then we waited for it to snow.

Sun in Seattle? People begin screaming about how the world is going to end and it is the beginning signs of the Rapture. It is a very difficult month for people here.

Rain in Seattle? There is a rush on Home Depot and everyone begins building an arc. In the event of a flooding we are all prepared.

Because I am not entirely crazy, I reserve my freak outs for when they matter; like during a home inspection.

I know it is the inspector's job to find everything that is wrong with the house, but all I could think when the CO monitor topped out at 2,000 when anything over 100 is considered high I was on the verge of throwing my arms above my head and begin sprinting around the neighborhood screaming, "WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!"

Then sanity set in. One, you can not appear crazy to your new neighbors before you move in. We do not want to be that house. Two, the CO monitor was only high in close distance to the furnace, and read zero in the house.

We will not die by CO poisoning in the next four weeks. However, the fear of death in a house hit me.

There are a million things that can go wrong in a house. Insert a screaming, hand waving nutcase.

No, not really. I kept my composure and did the Seattle-Freak Out in the privacy of my apartment where the neighbors already know I am crazy.

Then, it was time to gain perspective. Home Depot makes all house repairs easy and somewhat affordable. They teach you how to insulate and install drywall. People renovate their homes all the time. Everyone that has ever bought a house has had to fix something.

We shall join them. Our house may be a money pit, but it will not be a death trap.